misery

I don't think its humanly possible to be any more miserable than I am right now.

I am sick. I have a cold.

My nose is stuffy and runny all at the same time. My ears itch. My throat is sore and I have a cough. And its a pathetic sounding, non clearing cough. My cough is right at the top of my esophagus and I feel it would be more productive if it were lower in my chest or even on into my lungs.

My left eye is red, swollen and producing a self replenishing quantity of green gook. I have to go to the doctor tomorrow. I think its the dreaded, hateful, strike fear in the bravest of men disease -- pink eye.

The sciatic nerve in my left buttock is hurting. I sit a lot in my job and when I get up to move and take that first step the shock of pain that runs from my bum up my back and down my leg takes my breath away. I nearly fall over every time I stand up. I have never had this kind of pain or complaint of pain ever before in my life. I don't walk anymore; I waddle.

My boobs are enormous. Jeff commented yesterday how I seem to be wearing more low cut clothes since becoming pregnant. Its just the way maternity clothes are made; tops have to make room for gigantic mamories and the only way to do that is split material down the middle.

My baby bump is huge and she kicks all the time. We saw in the sonogram last week that her bum is near my rib cage, her spine is along the right side of my belly and her head is down in my pelvis. So what I'm feeling is her elbow, some rump shaking and pushing her feet against the uterian wall; sometimes all at the same time. I've taken to calling her "spitfire" because she is so active. Contrarily, we called Jack "fusspot" because he would go silent for such long periods of time. After we got the hang of Jack being born he was a pretty easy and relaxed baby. I'm scared about this one.

My well intentioned but unable to keep their mouth shut co-workers are driving me crazy. They are just showing concern but I am so tired of answering the same questions. I think I'll have cards made to pass out when I'm asked:

Yes, I am huge. Thanks for noticing.
I'm due and the end of July which is not soon enough. No, I cannot take the heat.
Its a girl and we don't have a name for her yet.
We're not sure how Jack is going to respond when his little sister is brought home.

Instead of pestering me with questions, why don't these people shower me with cash? That would be more helpful.

But I think the highlight of my misery at the moment is that I haven't slept in four days. I'm usually so comforted and can take away a lot of stress by putting on snugly jammies, crawling into bed, finding the most perfect spot and drift off into non thinking blissful sleep. Right now, I can't curl up, I can't find the right position and as soon as I feel like I'm on the bus to sleepville -- I cough or the babe kicks or something distracts me. I just cannot turn off my brain.

I'm slowly turning nocturnal in preparation for the new born baby that's on its way. But c'mon, the baby is at least five weeks away. Let me sleep. I need it. I need to store sleep, stock up on it, have it in reserve. This is so unfair.